I am my Sister-Karyn Washington, Suicide and Me

People need us and we need people.

I wanted to take a moment aside from my efforts to raise awareness surrounding Sexual Assault and talk about this.

I just saw a post on Facebook that Karyn Washington, founder of "For Brown Girls" has transitioned. For Brown Girls is a blog that empowers women across the world to embrace their beautiful Black skin. She's also responsible for the #BlackSkinRedLip project. Though I have heard of Karyn prior to her passing through, I didn't know much about her.  I came across Ty Alexander's blog about Karyn and the conversation that they shared via email due to both of their dealings with depression. Both Ty and Karyn experienced the passing of their mothers. You can read the entire blog HERE.

Anyhow, what touched me was that Ty felt as if she could have been more transparent with Karyn regarding her depression and thoughts of suicide.

We deal with this, y'all. Depression. Suicide. We, as a community, experience this but we don't talk about it.

 I can't get too deep into this because I promise you, I'd be all day but I just needed to get this little bit out of my system. My heart is hurting, for Karyn, for her family. My heart is hurting for Ty. My heart is hurting for every woman, man, child that has dealt with depression, thoughts of suicide or feeling that they are good enough or that life is not worth living. I've been there. I've been there a lot more than I'd care to admit. Being a survivor of rape has its ups and it sure as hell has it's downs. And sometimes, I, we, get caught up in portraying to the world that we are so strong that we forget to cut the shit and just be HUMAN. For me, sometimes, being an activist, a role model, a motivational speaker or the friend that listens to everyone's problems can be emotionally, mentally and spiritually draining. And wait. PAUSE. Just so you know, this post isn't for the self righteous folk. This is for the people who can be real with themselves and admit that we, as humans, go through shit. Shit that makes us feel bad an sad. It makes us doubt everything and everyone. We feel, we hurt and we don't always deal with it because dealing with it would require us actually telling the truth to ourselves about our stuff.

Just like Karyn and Ty, I used to think about suicide all of the time. I wondered if people would miss me if I was gone. My heart was hurting so bad after my rape that I often wondered what life would be like if I were no longer in it.  But we don't want to talk about this. Suicide.

Karyn, I am so sorry. I don't exactly know what led to you feeling like this life was not worth living but I can certainty imagine. Thank you for being a gift. Thank you for shining your light and empowering US to see ourselves beautiful. Your passing has inspired me to being even more transparent. I am grateful for you.

Karyn Washington

We have to start being honest about what effects us. We have to be honest with ourselves and with another if we expect to see change.

Iyanla Vanzant often says, " I am not my sister's keeper. I am my sister."

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